Powodzenie małżeństwa. Uwarunkowania psychologiczne w perspektywie transgresyjnego modelu Józefa Kozieleckiego

Abstract

The aim of this study was to identify the most important psychological factors affecting the success of marriage. A transgressive approach to the human psyche has been used, which is understood as a dynamic system able to develop its potential through transgression – crossing the boundaries of one’s previous achievements and abilities. Based on the basic assumptions of psychotransgressionizm, success in marriage has been determined as the result of a specific form of transgression undertaken in the reality of marriage by both spouses involving identification of emerging problems, finding their causes and making joint effort to overcome them. The greater the potential power of individual psychons forming the network structure of a personality, the more successful spouses are in overcoming life difficulties, and the more satisfied they are with their marriage. Operationalization of all psychons has been made with the use of either ready-made tools or our own research tools constructed for this purpose. The level of spouses’ transgressive behavior has been determined with the use of R. Studenski Scale Transgression, whereas satisfaction with marriage – with the use of M. Plopa and J. Rostowski Questionnaire of Well-Matched Marriage. A detailed comparative analysis of the results obtained from different types of spouses allowed to identify relevant psychological conditions affecting a mental sense of satisfaction with spousal relationships created by marriage. A sense of satisfaction with marriage is positively affected by wives’ knowledge about their husbands in the field of emotions and values. Taking into account husbands’ experience of the world of feelings and values in undertaking actions, wives create a platform on which spouses work together for the common good. This type of cooperation, which is very important from the point of view of the essence of marriage, is expressed in entrusting, giving, or offering oneself to a husband as a gift, and is enhanced by a positive affective shift. Despite a variety of experiences and sensations in married life, which are not always positive, focusing on positive feelings allows to keep a better mood and impacts development of a positive attitude towards a husband. When a husband experiences a positive reference to himself, especially when expecting something different, he is willing to show his gratitude which, when expressed in practice, creates a climate of greater closeness between spouses. This does not mean that a wife has to tolerate her husband’s behavior she does not accept. It is rather the adoption of some form of a dialogue where positive feelings expressed at the beginning open the prospect of reaching an agreement, especially when the issue at stake is difficult and complex. Some of the most important determinants of husbands’ satisfaction with marriage include: awareness of men’s personal beliefs, a positive affective shift, and knowledge in the sphere of values and feelings about their wives. The awareness of being a person who, while existing, has a sense of personal agency over actions s/he undertakes, allows spouses to perceive both the world and their marital relationship as a reality in which they actively participate providing their personal contribution thereto by either enriching or burdening it. Despite changing circumstances, the acceptance of the world in whole, including one’s own person being an indivisible unity, gives a sense of internal integration and power aiming at building a positive relationship despite emerging problems. Practical implementation of such intentions in daily married life facilitates a positive affective shift, which allows to create a favorable emotional climate for a marital dialogue. Predominance of positive emotional references, especially when you need to act quickly, is priceless, and it often provides effective protection from a curling spiral of negative emotions. On the other hand, in times of greater peace, positive emotional references make spouses spend time together and naturally get to know each other better. Pursuing a marital dialogue whose effectiveness affects a sense of satisfaction with marriage definitely facilitates a high level of knowledge that men have about their wives, especially in the emotional sphere and the sphere of values. Such knowledge allows to plan and put into practice all the activities is such a way as to minimize the likelihood of distressing a wife while increasing the likelihood of taking actions which, in effect, give her pleasant sensations and confirm that her feelings and life priorities are considered as valuable too.